


Impact of words

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 08:28:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18774955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: No matter how long you've known someone, no matter how well you think you know them, there's always a chance there's a part of them they hide.Ellie learns what part of Nick he hides and vows to help him overcome it.





	Impact of words

**Author's Note:**

> I know I know, another fic about Nick but I can't help it!
> 
> This was inspired/taken from Queer Eye, a scene that always makes me tear up.

No matter how long you've known someone, no matter how well you think you know them, there's always.. _always_ a chance there's a part of them they hide. A part of them below the surface that they try so hard not to let anyone see.  
  
Ellie thought she knew Nick. Thought she knew him most out of their makeshift family, and while she did..she didn't really it turns out, at least not completely.  
  
Nick with his big ego but heart of gold, Nick who was fiercely protective over the people he loved, Nick who you could count on to have your back even if you didn't always deserve it.   
  
Turns out, one of those had been a show to hide what was under the surface.   
  
Now when she thinks back to all the times on her own or with McGee that she teased him, joked when it came to his vanity..she felt sick to her stomach. Ellie knew Nick would never hold it against her as she didn't know but it didn't stop the sick feeling knowing.   
  
Knowing that Nick _wasn't_ confident like he showed, that he _didn't_ have such high self-esteem, that he _struggled_ to pretend to hide what was really beneath.   
  
Ellie learned on a chilly night curled against him under a blanket for warmth as they were stuck in a crappy apartment with no heat for a late stakeout, Nick was actually really insecure about himself and didn't think much of himself. His ego was for show half in an attempt to make himself feel better and half so no one would find out, his going to the gym and trying his hardest to take care of himself was in an effort to raise his self-esteem, to use the muscles he gained as an armor. It didn't always work, but it was enough to keep him from drowning.   
  
She had no idea where it could have all come from until a conversation with Lucia after she pushed.  
  
Before their dad had left, Nick had been struggling in school between the work he barely understood and the kids who picked on him for sounding a little different. In turn he acted out at home causing stress on their parents. After he left, their mom blamed Nick. All her hurt and anger she turned onto Nick, who was stuck listening to all the negative things thrown at him which built up as he got older and started hearing the insults and cruel jokes from his classmates. It was what pushed him to become the jock, to become the confident popular guy he was during high school.   
  
It was all a lie, a cover that grew more as time passed. But it never erased the words he had heard for years always in the back of his mind that still ate away at him.   
  
Ellie knew how much cruel words could hurt, had heard enough during her school years to last a lifetime. But she was lucky enough to come home and have her support system in many ways so while the words hurt and stayed with her, they pushed her to work harder while Nick didn't have the large family that would give him the love that dug her out.  
  
Her heart literally hurt for him. For this man that had become her best friend, become one of the people she trusted with her life, for the man she fell for.   
  
Ellie vowed to help him. She needed to show him what she saw, what all their friends saw.   
  


* * *

  
  
“Ellie what the hell are we doing here?” Nick sighed as he followed her into a brick building that had no sign out front as to what it was. His face twisted into confusion when she led him into one of the rooms down the hall.   
  
They stood in a dance studio. A mirror covering the whole back wall, large floor clear of anything except for a chair right in the middle.   
  
“Seriously what's going on?” He eyed the chair. “If this is some way of saying you want a strip tease or something-”  
  
Ellie cut him off smacking his arm though she couldn't help the chuckle that fell from her lips. “Not even close!”   
  
Reaching into the bag she placed on the floor, she took out a bright blue marker.   
  
“We're here, because I'm going to try and break through all your insecurities and negativity about yourself.”  
  
Nick's jaw clenched, panic flashing in his eyes. “Ellie, I don't think-”  
  
“Nick.” She said sternly. “I know emotions aren't your thing and you've been regretting telling me all that you did, but just give it a chance.”  
  
He closed his eyes for a brief second, taking a deep breath. “Fine.”  
  
“Good.” Ellie opened the marker. “We're going to write every positive thing about you on this mirror.”  
  
Nick's eyebrows furrowed. “Doesn't sound like it'd do much good.”  
  
Ellie sighed. “Just work with me here Nick. Here I'll write the first thing-” She walked up to the mirror, not even having to think about what she was writing.   
  
_Good guy_  
  
Nick shifted on his feet, his face showing he wasn't sure about that.  
  
Ellie handed him the marker. “Look in the mirror Nick, what do you see.”  
  
He stared at himself, so many emotions flashing in his eyes. “I'm..a good agent?”   
  
She smiled. “Nothing is ridiculous or too little, write it.”  
  
Nick bit the inside of his cheek and nodded, writing the word down.   
  
Soon the words started covering a decent portion of the mirror with only a little help or encouragement from her.  
  
 _Good guy, good agent, funny, courageous, handsome, strong, compassionate, good friend, considerate, supportive, hard worker, reliable, friendly, smart, hero._  
  
Many more words filled the mirror, and Ellie watched as Nick stepped back to the chair, his eyes running over the words with a expression that showed there was no way all those words fit him, even when he wrote them himself.   
  
“Sit down for a second.” She told him softly, taking the marker from him and putting it back in the bag to take out a tablet. Nick sat while she fooled around with it for a few seconds. “Press play.”  
  
Nick took it out of her hands slowly, giving her a confused look before tapping on the video to play it.  
  
A strangled like noise fell from his lips.  
  
It was a video full of people Nick knew, some better than others, but every person had a positive word or words to say about him..most of them being the exact words he had just written.   
  
Gibbs, McGee, Jack, Kasie, Jimmy, Vance, Abby, Lucia, Amanda, Delilah, Breena, Ducky, Fornell, Kayla, Tony, Mr. DiNozzo, Alex, people from cases he had helped, and even a message from her own parents and brothers.   
  
Once the video ended, Ellie crouched down in front of him. She took the tablet from his hands and set it on the floor, resting her arms on his legs as she gripped his hands in hers.  
  
“Nick?” Ellie said softly.   
  
He looked at her with watery eyes.   
  
“Why do this?”  
  
She smiled. “Because you deserve it. You deserve to know how great you are Nick.” Ellie squeezed his hands. “And because..it hurts to see the person you love not love themselves.”   
  
 A choked noise of disbelief left him.   
  
Leaning forward, she softly rested her forehead against his. “I know things have been rocky between us lately, I know there's been a shift between us, but it's true. And all those words? I've thought all of those and so much more about you.”   
  
“Ellie..I-” Nick swallowed roughly. “You know after Reeves, all that anger, you almost dying _twice_ , Cody, almost getting arrested, Kohl, the thing with Boyd, the whole thinking you thought I was capable of murder and not believing you had faith in me..I felt like everything just kept building up-”   
  
“It's okay.” She whispered.  
  
“I- Thank you Ellie.”   
  
“Anytime Nick.”  
  
He let go of one of her hands, his coming up to her cheek. He traced his thumb down, a smile growing on his lips.  
  
“The person you love?”  
  
A light blush spread along her cheeks. “Yeah.” She said in a small voice.   
  
Nick closed the distance, kissing her so softly but lovingly that her eyes watered as her eyes fluttered shut. Her whole body tingled as they kissed for the first time as _them._   
  
“‘love you too.” He breathed out against her lips before kissing her again, pulling her onto his lap.   
  
Words could bring a person down, but words can also lift them up.  
  
But love?   
  
Love is something magical.   
  



End file.
